In Short:
Men can define or scapegoat women however they like. From hysteria to insecurity, men can project their own worst behaviors onto women and blame women for their own oppression. Men also selectively define women, choosing which women are exceptions to their stereotypes as is convenient to them. Men’s stereotypes about women are never questioned, no matter how ridiculous they show themselves to be in real life.
Derived From:
- Privilege to Define Everything
- Ownership of Women’s Bodies
- Male Gaze
- Privilege to Make the Rules
- Privilege to Speak
Exclusive to Men Because:
Men get to analyze, define, and judge women’s lives without resistance. Women, on the other hand, have to constantly defend their views if they fail to conform to men’s views. When women explain the motivations for their own actions, they are ignored. Instead, their motivations are “deduced” by other men. Any discussion about women from a woman’s perspective is seen as unorthodox.
Harms:
In selectively defining women, men choose which women “deserve” empathy, consideration of their views, and full human rights. [1] ;In order to gain their favor, men demand that women conform to their roles as part of the Sex Class. Thus, women are denied self-determination, and are allowed only the illusion of independent humanity so long as they regurgitate the dominant opinions of men.
Men who grow up in a society that encourages belief in their perceptions of women over the words and experiences of women are incapable of having a genuine intimate relationship with women. Until you believe that it is possible for your mother, wife, girlfriend, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, female friend, etc. to radically alter any of your deeply held views on life, they are not fully human to you, and will always be unknowable to you on the far side of a gulf of unshared human experience that you refuse to reach across.
If You are a Good Guy:
This one is a no-brainier: if you have a choice between listening to a man comment on a woman’s motives, and said woman explaining her own motives, listen to the woman.
A woman’s word is just as good as a man’s, so give women the same benefits of the doubt that you give to your male friends. If a woman tells you something that doesn’t match your own beliefs, don’t automatically dismiss her. Instead, try questioning ;your own opinions as much as you question what you’ve heard. Who knows, you might just learn a thing or two. And if you continue to do this for a few months, your friends may even stop calling you a pompous ass behind your back.